Bob, one of Life's Losers 2, New Zealand Farm Life

BOB

One day I was travelling north and I called at the Stan Hotel in Kihikihi, a very cosmopolitan pub. I’d no sooner walked in the door when a hand barred my way.

“Hey you old bugger, how the hell are you” Bob, I’d known him a long time. I asked the stupid question, “Bob where the hell have you been”.

“Waikeria” he said. That I didn’t doubt at all. Another stupid question, “What for”?

“Well it was like this. I’m not getting any younger and times are not getting any easier, work is harder to come by,” this I had to admit was true.

“Well I was staying with a mate of mine just down the road and they wanted to go away for a fortnight so would I mind the house”. Oh God no I thought.

“Well! What did you do, sell their house?”

He gave me a pained look. “Look here mate, you know I wouldn’t welch on a mate, or put oine across one.” Probably very true actually!

“Anyhow I’m a bit short and I’m in need of a beer” I got a couple of jugs and we went to a quiet table and the tale unfolded.

“I went to Hamilton one day and I was looking at some cars in a car yard. There were some nice sporty types there and the salesman was keen to make a sale. He’d only been selling cars a short time and you know what crooks those salesmen are?”

This is true I guess. Bob I must admit is a handsome looking block, dresses well, carries himself well and speaks very well. No one would guess he had spent a fair bit of his life lagging in her Majesty’s Hotels.

“so I said to myself, the best thing I can do is to save this nice young bloke from becoming a crook” Bob was very genuine about this, he couldn’t stand crooks. I could never discover what category he put himself in.

“So we sorted out a car that looked like it might be useful for my purposes. I said to him, “Well look here, I won’t be able to pick this car up till the weekend as I have a lot to do, will you hold it for me”. He said he wasn’t sure about that, but I said I wanted to try it out and if I paid a deposit of $50 until I got my money through, could I pick the car up on Saturday morning to try it out and have a mechanic from the AA look it over, and bring it back on Monday morning.

I gave him my mate’s phone number in Kihikihi and said “ring him and he’ll verify I’m trustworthy, but he doesn’t get home from work till nearly 6pm”.

So I go back and put an add in the local rag. For Sale to dissolve a partnership etc etc a $4,000 car for $1,200 for a quick sale.